How many times has it happened that you wanted to say “I am more than willing to do this”, and instead you say, “I can do this” Or for that matter you ask someone – “Can’t you do this? This is what was expected of you”, where you could have said, “It would be a real help if you could do this”.
Both the examples above suggest that using grammatically correct language is not the only factor which represents good communication skills. Similarly having a good vocabulary is also not an indicator of how good a communicator you are. How else could probably Matthew Hayden not qualify as an impressive orator when he termed Harbhajan as an “Obnoxious Little Weed”. Weeds can be obnoxious, but nobody knew that Homo sapiens can also be weeds.
So what is it due to which someone qualifies as possessing the good communication skills? No doubt that a minimal level of grammar and vocabulary is required for speaking correct language, but the keyword here is “minimal”. If you are above minimal then you have some advantage in terms of presenting your contents a little better, or in using 3 to 4 different words for a similar meaning, but not more than that. The idea is very simple – “Use your words carefully”. And what does one need to do that? The reply is again a single sentence one – “Weigh before you say (or write)”.
There are numerous ways in which a thing can be put forward, and not every way is useful. Let us take a closer look at the two examples I stated in the beginning.
1) I am more than willing to do this – Shows your eagerness to do something, and that thing is one that you want desperately. On the other hand, I can do this suggests that if given the work, you can do, but the intent is not really there. So just one ill framed sentence can change the way you wanted to put it across.
2) This is an even bigger example of being careless while choosing the words, to the point of being extremely harsh. On the contrary, the rightly chosen words - “It would be a real help if you could do this” present you as a kind, generous fellow. This is the power of language. It can make you a deity if used correctly, and a demon if used improperly.
The question now arises that how to use the correct words. The simple answer here is: ‘It comes with experience, and at times from bitter ones’. But there is one rule of thumb – Never speak too much when you are furious about something, because when in anger, the human mind stops taking count of right or wrong. And invariably harsh words start flowing from the mouth like the mighty Nile, Thames or Ganges. So speak in a measured way, with a cool mind, and think before you talk, and you’ll certainly go a long way in establishing yourself as a very good verbalizer and an extremely effective human being.
